Our first Dvar Torah for the month of Iyar focused on the letter Vav and its spiritual theme of connection. We explored the connections we make with other people that express the Mitzvah of loving our neighbors as ourselves and how those connections need to be present especially in the context of reproving one another (Vayikra ). We left off with the challenge that love presents: how do we accept others without judgment and how do we reprove with love?

One understanding of the Mitzvah of "Hocheach Tocheach" (you shall reprove one another) is that the reproof is done by showing the other person the correct way through modeling. This is a very powerful understanding, because it puts the burden on us to demonstrate the proper way through our own behavior, words and choices rather than casting a critical eye towards others. If we look at the English word to reprove we see a hint of this understanding -- how do I encourage someone to change their course of action? By proving through my own actions what is best. If a person's initial understanding of a Mitzvah, an action, etc. is faulty, then I need to demonstrate, show and re-prove what another choice is; and no amount of criticism or berating will be as effective. This approach can actually take away the judgment we feel toward others and redirect it toward ourselves. It becomes our own spiritual status and actions that we are called upon to judge and our own qualities that we are asked to work on. If someone's actions in a specific area appear to us to be wrong, then it is that area we should then direct attention to in our own life. We can ask ourselves if our life gives evidence or proof of the right path and how we might refine our own actions.

Working on our own qualities is hinted at in the Vav. The numerical equivalent of Vav is 6 and alludes to three sixes that are significant in Jewish life. The first time 6 is mentioned in the Torah are the 6 days of Creation and therefore to the six days that we are commanded to work before resting on the seventh day of Shabbat. A further connection is to the counting of the omer. Even though we count 7 weeks, the first six weeks have a different quality to them than the final week. The 7th week is likened to Shabbat in that it is the culmination (or receptacle) of our "working on ourselves" for the first six weeks of the Omer count. The actual day of Shavuot which follows is then likened to the 8th day, a day even beyond the holiness of Shabbat- a day that is beyond the dimension of time. The third reference to 6 are the 6 years of planting and harvesting that precede the 7th year of Shmitah when the land lies fallow.

In each of these cases our tendency is to focus on what happens on the 7th --the 7th day is Shabbat, the 7th week is preparation for Shavuot, and the 7th year is Shmitah. However, in each situation, what happens during the 6 days, the 6 weeks, and the 6 years determines the quality of the 7th. And, in each case we are taught what we should be doing during the 6. In Bereshit we learn six days shall you work. In preparation for Shavuot we are told you shall count, and in the six years before Shmitah we are instructed, six years you may sow your field and for six years you may prune your vineyard; and you may gather in its crop. (Vayikra 25:3).

Working, counting, sowing, pruning, gathering -- each of these on the surface appears to be agricultural in nature. However, each of these also can be understood as a metaphor for shaping ourselves. How we emerge spiritually on Shabbat, Shavuot, and Shmitah, will depend on the efforts we made day-by-day, week-by-week, and year-by-year. Did we work on our personal qualities continually? Did we take an accounting of ourselves? What seeds did we sow with the words we spoke and the actions we took? Did we prune what was in order to create more robust growth? How did we harvest our efforts --did we give Tzedakah (charity)? Were we fair in our dealings with other people? Were we generous in our attitudes and "judgments"?

The holiness and spiritual re-creation of Shabbat, the capacity for receiving the gift of
Torah at Shavuot, and the trust in G-d and generosity of spirit that the Shmitah year require, are not acquired overnight. They require preparation, preparation that is done in the six days, six weeks, and six years that come before each of these lofty and transformative moments. Focusing on the Vav, what we do during the sixes creates the spiritual connections and holiness we seek to have manifested during the sevens. [ and the "eights" as on the day of Shavuot].

We are now in the final weeks of counting the Omer. Soon, Shavuot will be here and we will reap the spiritual rewards of our personal preparation. The emphasis on personal introspection and self-improvement during this time of counting is seen in the custom of learning from the Mishnah of Pirkei Avot, the Wisdom of our Fathers, in general and from the sixth (Vav) Mishnah of the sixth (Vav) chapter of Pirkei Avot in particular. This Mishnah lists the 48 personal qualities a person needs to have in order to acquire Torah. Included in this list are being modest, having a good heart, loving justice, judging people favorably, loving righteous ways, etc. These are qualities that obviously do not spontaneously emerge on erev Shavuot; they each require constant and consistent personal effort. The extent to which we have prepared during the six weeks by cultivating and nurturing these qualities in ourselves will determine who we are to receive in the seventh week of the Omer and on Shavuot .

All of our efforts have a double benefit. When we work diligently on ourselves we merit
the personal rewards of joyfully taking in Shabbat, accepting Torah on Shavuot, and living
with trust in G-d during the Shmitah year. In addition, our lives become a model for other people and are the best proof or re-proof that we can lovingly give another person. When we shift the focus away from what others are doing or not doing to what we ourselves are doing or not doing, we go a long way toward resolving the seeming conflict and paradox between the two Mitzvot of loving our neighbors as ourselves and you shall surely reprove your people. We begin to recognize that loving other people and making and keeping connections with them while at the same time working on ourselves is the best way to connect and fulfill both of these Mitzvot and come closer to the state of holiness we are asked to achieve.